Nobody warned me this journey was so hard.

Or I knew but didn't want to listen.

There's a simple reason.

The indie hacker thing is a bit of a misleading bubble. While going against the hustle culture, the few shared successes make the grind seem easy and cool from the outside. Same thing.

Who wouldn't love the idea of working on their own, at their pace, and harvesting the fruits of their labor?

Count me in!

You know, Reader, when I started this indie journey, I felt so smart.

It was summer 2022. I quit the freelance stuff without having any side revenue to pursue my dream.

I was the person who thought had enough experience to swing it and all the time in the world to figure things out. Having almost two years of runway made me feel smart.

I knew nothing. And it took me so long to learn it that time ran out in the blink of an eye.

Sure, I couldn't expect to be out of the game for most of 2023. But I literally threw my cash runway down the sink without even noticing it (when they say to do things on the side…).

Fast forward 20 months, and the end is near.

I'm running toward the cliff edge with no parachute to rely on.

Last Monday, I shared how I'm winging my best despite having only 2.5 months of money left in my bank account.

That tweet was meant to be a pep talk to myself not to give up.

It went viral despite not wanting to (luckily, my approach to Twitter has changed).

The amount of love people showed me has been heartwarming, but let me say that no one can help me, if not myself, until my efforts depend on me.

Completing the MVP of my app is only a starting point, a step of a longer ladder.

My chance of failing is out of the charts already. I'm taking a considerable risk because the (hopefully upcoming) results are not guaranteed.

Do I regret it? Hell no.

If I'm the one who I am today, it's also because this journey shaped me.

Still, I don't take any pride in it.

Navigating the ups and downs requires a lot of grit and some luck, and you (we) are not prepared for that.

It took me longer than expected to get here.

Learning how to code and putting it into practice takes a lot of time.

To an extent, it's not only about building and shipping products. There is social content to prepare, engagement, this newsletter, sometimes calls (even though I shrunk them by a lot), groceries, home duties, gym, rest time, and cooking time. And what about family and loved ones?

You don't know, but I almost had a breakdown about this newsletter a few months ago. The efforts I put in and the (what I thought were) bad results didn't match and made me become so emotional. Because of it, I've been a pain in the neck to my friends.

What seems good from the outside is not always true. But I keep trying. I keep listening to myself and adjusting things on the go.

This journey is a rollercoaster, and the pressure is real.

What's incredible is that I feel less anxious today on the line than back then. Maybe because when your back is against the wall, there's nothing else you can do other than push it?

Either way, even if I manage to make it, don't try this at home.

I leaped without revenue, which was against common sense and what people told me.

I put so much pressure on myself that I burned out and depleted the runway to survive instead of using that time to build something.

It is what it is.

But don't bet all your chips on it.

And if this open letter can help even one person take safer steps, I'm already happy.

Onwards,

Mattia

PS: not sure if you ever stumbled across this old HN post, which has already become viral a few times. It's worth a read.

I don't have anything to sell. I wanted to share some thoughts with you, that's all.

Yet, if you still want to support a poor indie maker, stay tuned because I'm launching a product soon.

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